you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
