Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
