i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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