I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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