We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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