Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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