i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize