I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
