Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
