I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize