with your own penis?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
