At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
