If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize