In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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