His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
