This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
