you would pick up someone in the library
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
