So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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