And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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