You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
