i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm really busy with my period
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