I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
