It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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