It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i drank out of a bidet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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