i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
