She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
