if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
