so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
