The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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