So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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