He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
