Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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