walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
