what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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