he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
not ubering you a puppy
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
