Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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