I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
