I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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