Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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