Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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