but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just gift wrapped bread.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
