He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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