I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
