I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
