mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
