I want to have your abortion
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
