Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
