Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
