did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
