well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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