I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
