I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I didn't notice because vodka
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
