I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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