So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
