you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
