if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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