The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
