One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am one with the molecules
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
