hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize