YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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