either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
